Another restless night, again a brain that won’t be quiet as it thinks of food.
How it affects my life, how it affects my family.
I have discovered through all of this that I’m a sweet tooth. I have always finished every meal with something sweet! Whether it be a sugar filled cup of tea, dessert, biscuit, cake or chocolate…I have always had a sugar hit after every meal! Now there’s a wake up call!
This detox diet has me yo-yo-ing daily between anticipation or dread for the next meal! The anticipation of something new and yummy is about the only thing keeping me going right now! The thought of the dreaded vegetable soup makes me sick to my stomach!
On the menu today…
Breakfast – a punnet of strawberries with 100g of low-fat yoghurt
Mid Meal – A small handful of nuts and fruit
Lunch – Soup
Mid Meal – An orange
Dinner – Soup
I went to market yesterday and brought myself a gorgeous, vibrant, sweet smelling punnet of farm fresh local strawberries in anticipation of this breakfast! Now that right there is a bowl full of yum!
Morning tea was alright but I knew the soup was coming up! Wanting to quit! I mean, who would know if I chowed down on a sandwich or gobbled up an apple…?
Me! I’d know! Only cheating myself right?
Soup…blah! Couldn’t finish the last mouthful! Washed it down with a glass of my skim milk (see…sweet hit…but at least it’s a healthy option and it’s on my list of things I can have!)
Food…thinking about food…all the time!
Decided to get in and make the kids some banana muffins for afternoon tea. What an awesome idea right? Wrong!
Without thinking I licked the batter off my finger!
Why? Why would I do that? TASTES SO GOOD!
Help! Help me! I’m caving….
Oh no, the smell! I forgot they’d smell so…damn…good!
Why would I do this to myself? Stupid! I want to cry, I want to give it all up and chow down on one of those muffins! Thank goodness it’s time to leave the house and get the children from school…resisting…
Afternoon tea, I shut myself in my craft room while I listen to my boys go on about how good they are and ‘Thanks Mum! They’re yum!’ Yay me… Oh, hello orange! I’ll eat you instead of a yummy muffin… *sulk*
Actually really enjoyed that orange! Sweet, juicy…I’m happy again. Until I think of dinner…
Finished up that soup while sulking! I want to cry, I want to throw it out the window, I WANT A BOWL OF ICE-CREAM FOR DESSERT TOO DAMN IT!! *sulk, sulk, sulk*
I made it! Finishing off the day with a cup of sugarless tea with skim milk. I keep drinking this tea expecting it to hit me with sugar. When I don’t get it I feel disappointed but just the comfort of the warm liquid seems to be enough for now. Today has been rough!
Tomorrow I get to eat a steak! Hang in there!
Tomorrow I’ll share some noticeable changes! They’re good…they’re part of what keeps me going! To anyone else wanting to turn their life around, don’t ever be afraid to start and for those trying, keep going! You can do it!
Hang in there!
In case you’ve missed my detox journey or need to catch up, the links are: